My mother use to tell me every time I heard lightening God was bowling. Then in 7th grade science class the teacher asked, “Does anyone know how thunder and lighting are formed?” I eagerly raised my hand confident that my mom would never steer me wrong and explained my elaborate theory on Bible Bowling. Of course my teacher looked at me and muttered under his breath “retard.” He then went on to explain something that was really beyond my comprehension, like discharge of electronic energy, which was completely abstract. But that lesson taught me an important fact my mother is a liar. A liar that is really bad at science. I vowed to never tell my child that God is bowling. Instead when ever they run into my room in the middle of the night from a thunderstorm. We rush down into the cellar and I explain how aliens are coming from outer space and trying to eat our brains. I feel that covers two scientific fields space travel and brain surgery.
5 Comments
July 17, 2009 at 8:27 pm
I’d say most parents are too stupid to explain something like that anyway.
July 18, 2009 at 11:58 am
In those rare instances when it’s raining and the sun momentarily pops out, we tell our kids that means the devil is beating his wife. Isn’t that some kind of Hawaiian folklore? My kids want to know why the devil has a wife if he’s such a jerk. Obviously I need to come up with better, more deceptive stories. Lying is definitely a part of any good parenting approach.
July 18, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Friggin hilarious – I’m putting this out on Twitter, hope you don’t mind
July 19, 2009 at 5:04 am
Jodi is right. Friggin hilarious. You are now a recommended read for the maniacs who read my blog.
July 22, 2009 at 5:09 am
Oh hon, you don’t have a basement!!!