Look, theme parks are fun for children. But for adults it can be kind of a nightmare. Standing on long lines to watch your child have fun, well that seems less than rewarding. In order to calm your nerves it is important to be drunk. Very important and very drunk. This way you are relaxed through out the day and when the time comes to be a great parent you will also have enough nerve to curse someone out, especially when they cut the line. Everyone else sits there and watches, their child looks up at their parent and waits for them to save the day, but the parent is too afraid of confrontation. Not in this case, when you have already blown through half the child’s college fund on beer at the concession stands, theirs no battle to small.