Parenting Tip #10 Always Pick a Clear Favorite Child

childWhen I was growing up I would ask my mom to admit that I was indeed the favorite child. The one she had always hoped for and that my sister will never be the apple of her eye. My mom would always say “I love you equally”. Then she would smile, but it was how she smiled that let me know I was the favorite. It is important to pick a clear and defined favorite child and make sure all the children know that Child #1 is your favorite. But you can’t just say Child #1 is the favorite, it is also important to treat them better then the other children. When you are going out for Ice Cream make sure the other children know, you are taking your favorite child and that only your favorite child can get the biggest and bestest cone. Then get the other children the little dinky kids cone for $1.

Some Parents might struggle with picking a favorite child. Here’s a hint: Always pick the loser child as your favorite, the child that won’t amount to anything in life. It will not only irritate the other children but it will haunt them for the rest of their life. But the other two are equipped to become better and will push hard to gain your approval. Then on your death bed when the other children are doctors and lawyers and your favorite is still living at home playing video games at 40, tell them it was a joke and that you love them all equally. But child #1 get the inheritance.

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9 Comments

Filed under comedy, funny, humor, Parenting

9 responses to “Parenting Tip #10 Always Pick a Clear Favorite Child

  1. This is so funny! I love the way you think. LOL

  2. Providing said child with a sash and sceptre for casual wear around the house may punctuate their position – in case any of the others are slow on the uptake!

  3. Haha, I love the concept of your blog. You better watch out though, pretty soon your kids (or at least your oldest one) will be reading this. You might want to tell your first born he/she is your favorite… at least for the time being 😀

  4. I randomly switch favorites, and announce it to all of them. It keeps them on their toes, like unscheduled quizzes.

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