Parenting Tip # 15 What Smacking Can’t Accomplish Emotional Abuse Will


To this day I can’t recall what my son did that was so wrong, all I remember is the streaming tears of agony running down his face. But the story begins with my three-year-old child who is a little headstrong, for some reason had stopped responding to my violent love taps. I would smack the child and he would look up at me with a smirk and tilt his head. I would look into his eyes and I swear if I could read his mind it would be saying “That’s all you got daddy?” This is when it is important to resort to emotional abuse. Your child can never have the upper hand in any situation, I went up to his room and started packing his belongings. I said we are giving you away; you are never going to see mommy and daddy again. At this point I remembered my childhood and since we didn’t have cable television had always wished my parents would have said that, but in this case we have cable, Nintendo Wii, and Internet. It took me three days before I unpacked his suitcase.


Filed under comedy, family, funny, humor, Parenting

23 responses to “Parenting Tip # 15 What Smacking Can’t Accomplish Emotional Abuse Will

  1. Hopefully your local child protective service will realize that you’re just a really funny guy using your blog as a therapeutic vent (like I do), trying to get along while you’re raising three kids. lol. Love your posts.
    PS – ya didn’t really pack your 3-year-old’s suitcase, did ya?

    • fkdupdad

      I exaggerated a bit. No I did not pack his belongings, LOL. But I did say I was giving him away and was rather shocked at his reaction. He doesn’t cry. He is very stubborn, if you tell him the sky is blue and he thinks it’s green, then it is green. I am glad you enjoy my posts, thank you.

  2. sh0bh1t

    Very true and very funny.
    Its hard for youngsters to understand what they are really missing in this mirage of cyber age.

  3. lviss


  4. babbo

    Interesting way to get your point across. As a dad who is horrified by this kind of stuff, I find it offensive – even though you are trying to make the point that it’s BAD. Which is probably the reason you wrote it this way in the first place.

    What we keep in mind, we create. Sometimes funny teaches well. I hope your posts teach abusive parents just how lousy they are.

    But will they change?


  5. I wish I’d have had parents like you.

  6. some guy

    this website just isn’t that funny. like i know it’s supposed to be funny and ironic and sarcastic and not really serious, but maybe a little serious, kinda. but it’s just not that funny.

    • @some guy…. Thanks for trying… sorry I am not that funny….. I have noticed though the people that don’t usually laugh are the children in my posts………

  7. I am a kidder and overexaggerate many things with my kids. But the sad thing is that there comes a point when they no longer think it’s funny. I’ve gotten the “when are you going to grow up, dad” speech more than once . . .

  8. sadly it’s the truth for me. My mother, BOTH abused the shit out of me AND made me pack a bag, in the middle of winter. I never really got over it.. (srsly)
    I did a 12 part (i think) series on it on my blog. I wish I could find this particular post funny… but I do like all your other stuff and I recognize that you’re blog is tongue in cheek. 🙂

    • @sweetiegirlz I am very sorry I hit a nerve…. I am finding out that when you relate to the post it’s not so funny…. But I am glad you enjoyed the other posts….. Thank you for reading them……

  9. eatone

    I tell my students they are idiots. In fact, last week, I called them all assholes. Then, I continued to tell them that you get out what you put in and if this is what they wanted to put in, then good. We need people to make iced coffee for us in the morning, on the way to out “real jobs.”

  10. Yeah sometimes the child has more rights then the parents..i think the being sold threat was tried on my too..ahahah funny about the 3 days to unpack his things…funny blog…Zman sends

  11. Sidney Cooke

    “Why is it raining, daddy?”

    “It rains because God is crying.”

    “Why is God crying?”

    “Probably something you did.”

  12. Beware the children’s revenge.My mother often tells me about the time I got the better of them. I hid in the garage and they scoured the town looking for me. They thought I’d run away!

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