It’s 10:00pm and your children are still bouncing off the walls like Kangaroo Jack. Yes it is summer vacation but you still have work at 7:00am and really need to sleep. It is exhausting enough to have three children when you are well rested. It is at this moment you must decide to either subside with all the other soccer moms and dads and try crystal meth or develop a slight case of Munchausen’s Syndrome. After much Googling of how to induce a child to cough you decide that it would be safer to just make them think they have a cough. When the children are in one group say “who just coughed?” Then acted concerned for all of them, say something so the oldest doesn’t think anything is up. “Well it’s better to be safe then sorry, you are all getting a heaping dose of Children’s Benadryl.” In less then 5 minutes they will be out like a light. The only time I truly love my children are when they are sleeping from a coma that was induced by cough syrup. Then sneak in their room drunk, try not to trip on any toys, and whisper “Sleep tight”. Also check for signs of breathing.