Parenting Tip # 16 Children’s Benadryl is More Than Just a Cough Suppressant


It’s 10:00pm and your children are still bouncing off the walls like Kangaroo Jack. Yes it is summer vacation but you still have work at 7:00am and really need to sleep. It is exhausting enough to have three children when you are well rested. It is at this moment you must decide to either subside with all the other soccer moms and dads and try crystal meth or develop a slight case of Munchausen’s Syndrome. After much Googling of how to induce a child to cough you decide that it would be safer to just make them think they have a cough. When the children are in one group say “who just coughed?” Then acted concerned for all of them, say something so the oldest doesn’t think anything is up. “Well it’s better to be safe then sorry, you are all getting a heaping dose of Children’s Benadryl.” In less then 5 minutes they will be out like a light. The only time I truly love my children are when they are sleeping from a coma that was induced by cough syrup. Then sneak in their room drunk, try not to trip on any toys, and whisper “Sleep tight”. Also check for signs of breathing.


Filed under comedy, family, funny, humor, Parenting

16 responses to “Parenting Tip # 16 Children’s Benadryl is More Than Just a Cough Suppressant

  1. MamaSaun

    I’m embarrassed that I keep coming back to laugh at these posts!!

  2. MamaSaun

    I’m embarrassed that I keep coming back to laugh at these posts!

  3. lviss

    it is quite dangerous to give cough syrups to children below a certain age which u can find in the bottle–best way to put a child to sleep is give some honey– it does help sometimes–a search on honey and sleep will throw up interesting info.

    • @lviss thank you. I will try honey next time… LOL.. no this story actually came from a friend.. Her mom use to use cough syrup to put her to sleep…. I just constantly yell at them to get back in bed for 3 hours until they finally tire out….

      • LOL @ “I just constantly yell at them to get back in bed for 3 hours until they finally tire out….”

        I can definitely relate… Bed Time is 9.. because it takes 3 hours for him to actually fall asleep!! CRIPES!

  4. Neversaydie

    Not to be a wet blanket, but your blogs are offensive an you are obviously a terrible father. Someone should give you cough syrup.


    The Wettest Blanket

  5. Bullethead

    It’s a shame Paragoric isn’t legal anymore. Parents swore by it. It wasn’t just for teething!
    That stuff GUARANTEED a calm child.

    Two stanzas about traveling with children from James McMurtry’s “Choctaw Bingo”:

    Strap them kids in
    Give em a lil bit of vodka
    in a cherry coke
    were goin to oklahoma
    to the family reunion
    for the first time in years
    it’ll be one big old party
    like you’ve never saw

    were gonna strap those kids in
    give em a lil bit of Benadryl
    were gonna have us a time
    were gonna have us a time

    Ahhh, Americana.

  6. DeadWaterDad

    this is awesome! my mom used to use it on my middle brother cuz he was such a terror. also when she needed to knock him out to take splinters out of his feet.

    when i was 15 and watching my youngest brother everyday, all day, sometimes i’d make him a heavy meal and top it off with a milkshake containing a teaspoon or so of rum. out like a light ;). rest assured i’m 28 now and have never done that to my daughter….but she sure does make it sound VERY tempting at times.

    love the blog

  7. just so you know, I will NOT be suggesting this awful blog to all my friends who have horribly annoying brats and who need your tips for survival if not for sanity! So … there!
    PS. how do I copy the URL address?

  8. Anja

    And every time they scratch, give them phenergan. That drops ’em as well.

  9. Kermit the Frog

    FYI…. benadryl is not a cough suppressant but a antihistamine. But it’s use as a child suppressant has been proven time and time again!

  10. Giron Smitty

    I don’t know what people complain about dosing kids. My father would give me benadryl nearly once a week and I turned out just fine. Just wish he hadn’t touched me after. My father might have screwed me, but the benadryl never did.

  11. rich

    that last comment is disturbing……..

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