Parenting Tip # 18 Teaching your Child How to Cope with Death

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In a child’s life there are three types of death. The most important is that of a beloved animal. The most financially relevant is that of a relative they never really liked, but left them a boat load of money. The last type of death is the slightly painful loss of a relative or friend that they really cherished and will cause them to be completely devastated. When breaking the news that their beloved animal/friend/family member has passed it is important to not be too sensitive about the issue, tell them in an upbeat tone, “Hey did you hear so and so died! That’s crazy, right!” If they start to cry tell them “Don’t worry they didn’t like you anyway”. Follow up tip: If is was their beloved animal, Tell them I guess we are having (insert animals name)for dinner.

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9 Comments

Filed under comedy, family, funny, humor, Parenting

9 responses to “Parenting Tip # 18 Teaching your Child How to Cope with Death

  1. lviss

    we can also demonstrate what it is by lying on the floor with protruding tongues to make it dramatic-in the case of a financially relevant type we can even break into a song and dance to break the news for we can also pinch something out ( like we do with their credit cards) of the fortune .
    i like the picture of the kid acting out the impending sorrow .

  2. “When breaking the news that their beloved animal/friend/family member has passed it is important to not be too sensitive about the issue, tell them in an upbeat tone, ‘Hey did you hear so and so died! That’s crazy, right!’ If they start to cry tell them ‘Don’t worry they didn’t like you anyway'”

    So true. When my father died, my mom tried to make it feel better by drawing pictures of my dad with me and telling me that my dad loved me and it wasn’t my fault.

    Today I’m a gay furry crossdresser about to star in an off-Broadway production of Cats.

    Just imagine what it would be like if my mom had done it the right way and told me “It’s all right son, your father never really loved you.” I would probably be stronger. Less gay too.

    Moral of the story: Your children will respond positively to being told their loved ones never loved them. It will harden their hearts, break their emotions and destroy any love they ever had for anyone. Think about it. Do you think the Terminator cried like a pussy when his friends died? Did Batman cry when his parents were killed? Hell no. They beat the shit out of people like that.

    Your kids should be like that. Kick ass.

    • @Lupe Delobo…. I never looked at it that way… Making them tougher… I was just in it for the emotional abuse… LOL…. thank you for your comment…..

  3. ואהבת

    Will you please be the father of my children, too? 🙂

    http://continuetheexperiment.wordpress.com/

  4. Anja

    You waited until the third to be snipped? I would have been pushing the wife off the delivery table and saying “shave my nuts and cut them chords”

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