Parenting Tip # 19 Father’s Day

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If you are celebrating Father’s Day as a father, well then your day is obliviously ruined anyway, so really what is the point. Most likely you were awoken by the sound of pitter patter made by small feet, your children trying to surprise you, like your children even being born wasn’t enough of a surprise. They have created a day that constantly reminds you, not only are you a complete loser, but how bad you really messed up that one night and 9 months later you are learning the word regret, one diaper at a time. It is important to wake up in complete rage, it sets the tone for the entire day. Yell at them to leave the room instantly and tell them that you will get up when your head stops spinning.

Fast forward till about 2 o’clock you arise from bed and walk downstairs. Demand your presents right away and tell everyone that the child that got you the best present can eat dinner tonight, the rest can watch you two enjoy dinner. Important reminder: If one of your children gets you a tie, look at them with the biggest smile, stand up, slam the present on the floor, and say in a sarcastic voice, “Wow, just what I needed, another F’n tie because my 200 other ties really needed another friend.”

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3 Comments

Filed under comedy, family, funny, humor, Parenting

3 responses to “Parenting Tip # 19 Father’s Day

  1. Yep, Father’s Day is just a big mess around my house, too. Kids screaming, toys and other plastic crap everywhere, juice spilling, crumbs falling. What about Dad and his needs? Not so important I come to find out. Even so, Happy Father’s Day to you, my friend. Keep up the great blog posts. You’re helping me unlearn all my “friendly” approaches to parenting!

    • @Guitar Dad LOL…. Yes… sounds like we are in the same boat…. Happy Father’s Day! Now if I could only take my own advice as well… and not be a friendly parent too….

  2. LVISS

    HOW TRUE. ONE MESSED UP NIGHT BEGETS UMPTEEN DIAPERS.
    DEMAND YOUR GIFTS. FINE . BETTER STILL TO REWARD THE CHILD WHO DOESNT SHOW UP IN FRONT OF YOU FOR THE WHOLE DAY . YOU HAVE AL THE DAY TO YOURSELF. PEACE PREVAILS.

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