Parenting Tip # 21 Paternity Testing

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This tip should have possibly been #1, that’s really the first thing you should do when the child is born and if it is not obvious by race, color, or creed that it is not your child, you must get a paternity test. Why did I wait 21 whole years, damn it! I mean 21 whole tips, before deciding on Paternity testing, now that I have a vest interest in the child and have grown emotionally attached to them mowing my lawn every Saturday. Stand strong though if that test comes back 7% chance that I am the father, no thank you Maury, Daddy is out of here faster then a fat boy on his way to a pie eating contest. Well hopefully it is not too late and the child isn’t above the age of 18. But it is essential to get your child tested to ensure they are your kin, because daddy is a valuable asset and in two years he will be a shift supervisor at Mc Donald’s making $7.50 an hour. Important reminder: 99.9% chance really does leave that 0.1% chance you are not the father, and we all believe in miracles right, hence we all believe in Jesus…..

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3 Comments

Filed under comedy, family, funny, humor, Parenting

3 responses to “Parenting Tip # 21 Paternity Testing

  1. Sheryl

    They are your kids! They look just like you! Nice try!

  2. LVISS

    WILL HAVE TO WAIT TILL THEY GROW UP, GET MARRIED , GET A CHILD , BEGIN MESSING UP PARENTING IN THE SAME WAY.

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