Parenting Tip #25 Feed Your Children Generic Food

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Grey Goose is kind of expensive, especial if you have three kids and use it as a daily remedy for dealing with life, so in order to subsidize the cost of expensive vodka, you need to feed your children generic food. People always say generic food taste the same as name brand. But it’s funny how those same people that say generic food taste good are usually the same people at party’s that will eat questionable stuff on a dare. One thing is certain Daddy won’t put anything in his mouth that costs less then a dollar fifty nine, so obviously I have never tried generic food, but when the children run out of Dr. Thunder they better not touch my god damn, Dr. Pepper.

Seriously, the important message here is that they are eating food, you are a good parent for just feeding them at least once a day, does it really matter how it taste. When someone says I dare you to try that Sam’s Club knock off brand food, I cringe and get the same nauseous feeling that I got when my friends dared me to eat dog food in the ninth grade, but when your child asks you to try there cereal because it tastes funny, tell them to eat some more and that you can’t eat that stuff because you have allergies to anything that isn’t gluten free.

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6 Comments

Filed under comedy, family, funny, humor, Parenting

6 responses to “Parenting Tip #25 Feed Your Children Generic Food

  1. LVISS

    SHOULD U FEED AT ALL.

  2. I read in “Name Brand Digest” that generic food costs less because it is made out of dead human skin.

  3. DeadWaterDad

    go to costco and buy the kirkland brand vodka; it’s from the same distillery as greygoose but way cheaper. now you can have good vodka AND put a few bucks back in your pocket while feeding the little devils their knock-off grub.

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