Parenting Tip # 40 Reading to Your Child is like Cheating


Have you ever read a book to your child? That adventure took 30 minutes out of my life that I will never get back. It starts with Daddy stuttering words to “Cat in the Hat.” It feels worse than a sobriety test, spouting out words on a 3rd grade reading level like “Cat”. Your child looks up at you and tells you “My teacher reads so much better. She doesn’t slow down or get caught on words like I” Try to ignore your children ridiculing you for only reading on a 4th grade level because when they came out with the show “Are You Smarter Then A Fifth Grader” you thought that shit was harder then Jeopardy. Besides if the book were any good they would make a movie for it anyway. I tell my children literacy is overrated and reading is for losers that go to the library and don’t have enough money to rent the movie. Another fact reading to your child is cheating. What are you teaching them by giving them the answers? Make them read you a book, and when they just make it up because they don’t know how to read, then you know for the next night you can just make crap up. Then “Cat in the Hat” can turn in to “Crackhead with a Habit” and that is a more entertaining story or is it just a chronicle about daddy’s life.


Filed under comedy, family, funny, humor, Parenting

2 responses to “Parenting Tip # 40 Reading to Your Child is like Cheating

  1. Pingback: Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader | All Days Long

  2. lifeisacookie

    That was exactly what I needed to start my day! Awesome!!

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