Parenting Tip # 44 Talking to Your Child About Sex Part I (Boys)

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When talking to your son about sex this should be fairly simple. Tell him sex feels really good, until you see the end result, which was you, so wrap that shit up. Go into a long speech about how the last thing he wants is a child running around, explain how it really messed up your life. Then when he isn’t catching your drift. Tell him “You specifically are the reason I cry myself to sleep each night.” But make sure you end the conversation on a high note by then giving him a big box of condoms wrapped like a Christmas gift. When he opens it up say with a proud grin, “Go to town, boy!” But let him know the rules for engaging in sex. Say, “Look your 15, so it’s important to remember you never want to sleep with the same girl twice, when you get married you will have the same woman for the rest of your life and trust me that really sucks.” Then explain if the girl looks funny down there that’s what the condoms are for! Enjoy.

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10 Comments

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10 responses to “Parenting Tip # 44 Talking to Your Child About Sex Part I (Boys)

  1. KOl

    that is sooo wrong!!!

  2. If your child is uncircumcised, you should also tell him that if he ever knocks up any woman you’ll personally chop his foreskin off with a carving knife, and he’ll lose all of the nerve endings on his penis and he’ll never have any feeling when he’s having sex ever again. That’ll keep that little fucker from sticking his meat staff into a woman without a rubber.

    Of course, if your child’s uncircumcised he’ll never get any pussy anyway, since women only like a man that’s willing to have his own dick skin lopped off, so you’ve already got a real good birth control thing right there. Keep the hood on the sweatshirt, dads and moms.

    • DeadWaterDad

      this is the dumbest fuckin post i’ve seen on this site….seems to me like you were just looking for an outlet to talk about cock.

      • @deadwaterdad out of all the absolutely dumb posts on this site you really found this to be the dumbest…. Wow! Thank you! Sorry to waste your time like that……

      • DeadWaterDad

        @fkdupdad i was talking about the comment from the luigiian, but i’ll go ahead and accept your apology, and forgive you just this once.

    • ths pst hav no infruenc, n bdy will evr learn anythn 4rm ths

  3. The good thing is now I dont need to talk to him about sex at all. He can just read this post…Got that sorted.

  4. M

    I would also recommend exposing the young lad to photos of the gnarliest STD photos you can find. That ought to keep him up at night. 🙂

  5. Anja

    As one of my dear old lecturers told the guys in a seminar on sexual health,

    “If you wouldn’t stick your tongue in it, don’t stick your dick in it”

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