Parenting Tip # 52 Embarrass Your Child At Their Birthday Party


When you were in college how did you know your party was a success? Everyone got drunk as hell and someone ended up vomiting all over the place. Children’s parties are slightly different. All alcohol consumption should only be partaken by the adults, well at least until the parties are no longer at Chuck E. Cheese. Which I might point out has a 1 beer an hour limit. So Daddy had too smuggle his flask in the door. Daddy told Mommy if the Chucky gives him any problems he’s gonna punch that mouse in his over-padded big fat head.

Daddy’s not a violent drunk but the word party in Daddy’s dictionary means booze and drugs. So when the mouse came over and told daddy he was too drunk and asked him to leave because, “Chuck E. Cheese is a place where a kid can be a kid.” Daddy immediately gave Chucky a hand full of reasons to change that policy.

In the fog of drunkenness Daddy didn’t realize the birthday girl along with the other kids were crying “STOP” not chanting kill Chucky. See whenever Daddy fights all he hears is the “Rocky Theme Song” playing in his head. So in order to rectify the situation Daddy ripped off the 16-year girl’s Chuck E Cheese mask to expose her as a fake, or my exact word “Look Chucky is a fake just like that fat motherfucker Santa Claus.” Then I vomited all over the mouse and was escorted out. Daddy doesn’t really remember this event actually happening, but Mommy has the video, which she is going to edit with classical music so it doesn’t look as violent.


Filed under comedy, family, funny, humor, Parenting

4 responses to “Parenting Tip # 52 Embarrass Your Child At Their Birthday Party

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  2. They serve beer at Chucky cheese OMG where where? I’m there.

  3. Logan

    Wow. This is one of the best blogs I have ever read. Totally going to give this one a shout out on my blog.

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