Parenting Tip # 53 Don’t Hug Your Children You Might Get Lice


This fear became a reality the other day when my oldest was itching her head. Daddy doesn’t normally respond to his children’s needs but my daughter was very persistent that her head was itchy. Upon inspection I noticed bugs crawling in her hair, which I obviously responded by jerking back and yelling like a little girl, “Gross! You have bugs in your hair. Get AWAY!” This sent her into a full blown panic attack which left her emotionally helpless and in need of a hug. And of course me being the father I am, I immediately pushed her away and said I don’t want lice, that’s gross. Daddy dropped everything and started phoning Mommy right away to come home and handle this emergency. Afraid Mommy might not respond to head lice with such urgency and tell Daddy to be a man and finally do something for once, I called and acted like it was a big crazy family emergency and hung up on her coworker. Mommy rushed home in a panic and Daddy said with a sigh of relief, “Our daughter has lice, do something.”


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7 responses to “Parenting Tip # 53 Don’t Hug Your Children You Might Get Lice

  1. We had a head lice epidemic in our house several months ago too. It was really nasty! The hardest part was trying to get my daughter (18mo at the time) to sit still long enough to get it dealt with. Then just when the coast was clear, or so we thought, my nephews came for a visit and infested them again! They were the originators of it in the first place and apparently the first treatment didn’t work 100%. Bugs are just gross period lol

  2. Oh my God I HATE Head Lice!…I shave all my kids heads…no hair = no Lice.

  3. I hugged my 5 month old son yesterday and was projectile vomited on… all down the t shirt and trousers… lovely smell of sour milk…. looking forward to the lice!
    Terrified Dad

  4. B1355R0K

    I’d think the proper way to deal w/lice was to shave half the child’s head, light the other half on fire, and then stab at the bugs jumping to the other side w/a fork.

  5. lifeisacookie

    Way to manage the sitch!

  6. omg rotfl

    I started smiling in earnest when mommy was summoned. Had a little private chuckle to think how sore daddy’s privates were in spite of them not being infested with lice. And, then, full on gut splitting when I got to B1335RoK who obviously has that problem-solving genius gene.

    You guys are nuts (pun accidental, but now happily intended.) And, I have linked to you from my website where I sometimes say serious things about raising children. (And, sometimes not so serious, but rarely homicidal, soul-destroying advice. My readers will have to come here for that.)

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