Parenting Tip # 55 The First Day of School

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Parents rejoice! The first day of school is a special event, it’s when your child is old enough to have free childcare, Oh, I guess they might learn some stuff too. It’s funny to watch some parents agonize over letting their baby go. One neighbor was crying at the bus stop saying, “It’s so hard, they grow up so fast.” Daddy looked at her with a disguised face and said, “Cut the cord, Bitch!” Once your child is on the bus, call out of work and start drinking. Yes, 8 o’clock in the morning is a little early for booze, but you earned it. The night before school teach your child the wrong name for the teacher, Daddy usually goes for Ms. Douchebag because that is a word that usually defines teachers pretty dead on. Also it’s important to teach your child to never listen to the teacher because they are just trying to brain wash you into their own ideas and beliefs. Explain to them that the teacher is a liar and doesn’t believe in free thought. It’s difficult to explain this to a 5 year old, but in time you will either have a free thinker or the defiant little bastard will get kicked out of school.


Filed under comedy, family, funny, humor, Parenting

3 responses to “Parenting Tip # 55 The First Day of School

  1. It is really hard to believe you are up to parenting tip 55. lol! “cut the cord, bitch!” made me laugh out loud. I was video taping Big A’s COMING HOME , on the bus from her first day in Kindergarten. She got off the bus in front of our house, stomped directly into the house and slammed the door! leaving all of us out there laughing. I still have this on video tape.

  2. Hahaa…lucky I have this blog to reference….or else I would totally be in the dark!

  3. B1355R0K

    No new posts!? I’m fiendin!! lol

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