Parenting Tip # 62 Talking to Your Children About Drugs

Approaching your children on the topic of drugs is intricate. It’s extremely important not to mess this up, or not only will your child try drugs they will grow up to be little crack whores. Don’t be stupid and quote the 80’s slogan “Just Say No!” That’s a crock of S@#* and also why Daddy tried drugs at 12 years old. Be realistic in your approach. Sit your children down and simply say “Look at Daddy, do you really want to grow up and be like this? You know Daddy cries sometimes because he is such a failure and never reached his full potential. You know why Daddy never reached his full potential kids? Marijuana, well not to call it a gateway drug but ultimately heroin.”

Then reinforce the fact you aren’t telling them not to do drugs but that drugs have consequences. Tell them if they do drugs you will buy it for them….. with their college money, because if they do drugs basically college is going to be a waste of time, so you might as well spend it on killing their brain instead of expanding it. Break it down for them, tell them exactly how much they have to spend on drugs/college, say if you go to college you will also get a car, if you do drugs I don’t want you driving and you will probably live at home with Daddy until you’re 40 and be working a McDonalds.

After you explain the whole situation depending on your child’s ability to negotiate they might talk about experimentation, like trying it a few times to see what it does, explain to them they have addictive personalities, for example harassing Daddy for ice cream like a crackhead every 5 seconds, then jumping off the walls and asking for more ice cream, that is a huge indicator that you will be addicted to drugs if you can’t even handle your ice cream addiction.

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3 Comments

Filed under comedy, family, funny, humor, Parenting

3 responses to “Parenting Tip # 62 Talking to Your Children About Drugs

  1. I would like to say that it is very important to pay attention to the following aspects when raising children: drugs and smoking. Also, don’t hesitate to discuss a sexual behavior with your children (it is the main problem of many parents). Communicating about these important moments from the very childhood it is possible to avoid many problems in the future.

  2. Vodka and Ground Beef

    Ummm, where has this blog been all my life? I’m grown now, but I’d still like you to be my parent. This is the kind of stuff that I wish I’d been told.

    Brilliant to offer to buy children drugs from their college fund.

    Great blog.

  3. Yes, being open and honest about the harm it will do from an early age, say about 10 or 11 years old will hopefully set them in good stead. It will hopefully have sunk in by the time they may come accross this issue and will be part of their make – up to say no – also pointing out that it is illegal may help, especially if they rspect the law in other ways.

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