Parenting Tip # 65 Teaching Your Children to Eat Healthy (Part 2)

Recently, my daughter decided she wanted to be a vegetarian, this action infuriated Daddy as we pulled into the barbecue restaurant for my youngest sons birthday. I felt this act was selfish, that she had made up this decision as a way of punishing me for my excellent parenting skills. As I explained that this form of requesting a special dietary option as we pull into barbecue joint was unacceptable. I told her that being a vegetarian is similar to quitting smoking and one must set a quit date for meat.

Further I asked, “Daddy would love to understand why you no longer want to partake in dead animal flesh, from poorly mistreated animals, that were probably beaten and abused before they got on our plate.” She replied that, “She doesn’t like the taste of meat.” This response sent Daddy into a tizzy. I immediately started yelling which is Daddy’s first and only line of defense. As I screamed at my daughter that she could have approached her new found vegetarianism in so many different ways and that I feel like she has decided to become a vegetarian as a way of rebelling against Daddy and I feel like she is holding a shotgun to my head. I told her I would never conform to this and she can now consider herself a starvetarian because Daddy will no longer feed her.

After this altercation we went inside the restaurant. My daughter calmly pointed out that they have these things called salads and that they are very comparable in price to the item she would normally order. I looked at her with eyes of defeat and allowed her to get a salad. The salad came and she looked at some of the vegetables in disgust. I explained she has to eat all of the vegetables or she is no longer a vegetarian. She said she doesn’t like peppers, onions, or mushrooms. I said, “Why don’t we get a chicken sandwich and forget this ever happened?” She nodded her head in agreement. Then we went home and watch a PETA documentary on chickens and laughed.

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7 Comments

Filed under comedy, family, funny, humor, Parenting

7 responses to “Parenting Tip # 65 Teaching Your Children to Eat Healthy (Part 2)

  1. That’s a riot. Great post. I can’t say I ever went through a vegetarian phase, but I know I drove my mom crazy in other ways.

  2. Love it – I’m 21 and having my first kid, whilst everyone else is getting drunk (Oh well, I was doing that part years before them anyway)

    Another tactic to add: Once your daughters are old enough to be humiliated, post embaressing baby photographs on facebook each time they do something to piss you off. It’s the only real use of facebook. I’m talking, changing the diaper photos (this also works for guys – I’m sure you can envision the commentary).

    Or, if you got spare time on your hands, do what this guy did: http://www.waveatthebus.blogspot.com

    Anyway, tell her vegetables scream when you abuse them.

  3. Rokkie

    “starvetarian”!!!!! BEST. EVER.

  4. We had world war 3 tonight over about 7 peas.
    I am half aware that making a huge issue over somthing like eating greens for example may mar their joy of food experience but at the same time I feel that unless you are tough they won’t try new stuff and get stuck in a rut.

  5. That’s a wonderful and a very helpful post.

  6. north utsire

    How about teaching your children literacy (e.g. “healthily” i.e. adverb not “healthy” i.e. adjective)?

  7. Pingback: Teaching Your Children to Eat Healthy – Maria R. Paden

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