Parenting Tip# 26 How To Handle Ugly Children

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We have all been there as a parent, someone shows us a picture of their child or brings their child into work. The parent is completely oblivious to the fact that their child is an absolute abomination and has to be the ugliest child in the world, if their was an award they would have won ugliest child 5 years straight each time for their respective age bracket, and in fact the child is 5 years old, meaning this child never had a chance. But what irritates me in this situation is everyone around you smiles, and you try to look deeper into the other peoples eyes, trying to get some confirmation that they are lying when they say in that annoying bubbly voice “Oh My God!, she/he is so cute!” But you are unable to get confirmation because no one has the audacity to say it to her face. Then the mother leaves, and everyone says “God that baby was hideous.” This is an important tip: Tell the mother their child is absolutely, verifiably the ugliest child in the world, that when she pull the child out of their car seat you vomited in your mouth a little. Then smile and say hopefully they are smart because they ain’t getting no where based on their looks.

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21 Comments

Filed under comedy, family, funny, humor, Parenting

21 responses to “Parenting Tip# 26 How To Handle Ugly Children

  1. LVISS

    TELL THEM NOT TO WASTE ANY MONEY ON COSMETICS.
    THOSE WHO SAY CUTE REALLY MEAN “ACUTE…..”

  2. I found another messed up parenting tip that might interest you, do check it out, I’ve put it up on my blog:
    http://acomicaday.wordpress.com/2009/06/28/parenting/

    Love your blog, I’m adding you to my blogroll. Cheers!

  3. And sadly, it’s true. not every child is cute, but every child is beautiful…

    a quick story. I was riding up in a courthouse elevator one day. when I looked over at a lady next to me who was holding a baby in a blanket. It looked like a newborn. who doesn’t love babies right? suddenly one furry army pokes out of the blanket and yeah,,, the look on my face was probably priceless. This person was actually holding a baby monkey, and going to register her exotic animal in the courthouse!
    (true)

  4. To further prove your point, the photo of the child you used for this piece is truly good looking. What’s with our culture: Add glasses = ugly? I bet you couldn’t even find a picture of an ugly child … I’m going to go try now.

  5. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but no one questions that which is beholden. You’re blog touches on a very awkward situation. This is why I gouged out my eyes years ago.

  6. Pingback: Wordpress News - Parenting Tip# 26 How To Handle Ugly Children « Messed Up …

  7. Pingback: Kids and the Case of the Missing Tree’s | Parenting Help in Florida

  8. Haruspex

    It’s “respective age bracket” not “respectable age bracket”. It’s “confirmation” not “conformation”. It’s “their car seat” not “there car seat”.

  9. lol… funny.
    Well, that’s why I’m not gonna have children!
    Nice blog btw, I’m bookmarking it.

  10. Again your sense of humor is awesome. Now I have a complex, people have been telling me I am cute with a weird bubbly face for years.

  11. Anja

    Yes, yes, and yes!!! Someone once showed me a picture of their very hirsute child and I said “I hope it likes the organ grinder when it grows up” Parent, not amused.

  12. I’m now 19 and experiencing being a dad. I must say although it feels good it’s still hard. I knew it wouldn’t be easy but to be honest, the hard part is having to balance time. My daughter is great and makes managing her never dreadful. -Teen dad

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